Umuco

Uburenganzira abagore n’abakobwa bahoranye mu Rwanda bagomba gusubizwa

Mu Rwanda rwo hambere umukobwa yari afite uko abayeho n’uko afatwa byagiye bihinduka uko ibihe bisimburana. Turareba uko ubuzima bw’umukobwa kuva ari muto kugera abaye umugore mu Rwanda rwa kera uko bwari bumeze, harimo byinshi byitiranijwe cyangwa byahinduwe bikabangamira abakobwa n’abagore nyamara atari ko byahoze mu muco nyarwanda.

Twavuga ko uhereye ku myaka 8 kugeza ku myaka 10, umwana w’umukobwa yabaga ari kumwe na nyina cyane, akamufasha bike ashoboye cyane ibijyanye n’isuku.

Iyo umukobwa yagezaga imyaka 15 atangiye kwitwa umwangavu, uburere bwe ntibwabaga bukireba nyina gusa, kuko nibwo yatangiraga kugira impinduka z’umubiri, agakura, kandi umuco ntiwemereraga ababyeyi kuganiriza abana ku myororokere n’ibijyana nayo. Ntiyashoboraga kumusobanurira iby’imihango. Nyina yamushishikarizaga gusohoka ngo ahure n’abandi bakobwa. Iyo umukobwa atabikoraga nyina yaramutukaga ati “Uri umupfapfa! Kuki udasohoka ngo ahure n’abandi bakobwa?”. Igitekerezo cy’uko umukobwa agomba kwirirwa mu rugo bigaragara ko cyaje nyuma si icyo mu muco nyarwanda.

Abakobwa ba buri gace babaga baziranye cyane, bakundaga kuva mu rugo ku gicamunsi, bakajya gushaka inshinge zo gutaka mu nzu, bagashaka ibyo bazifashisha mu kuboha ndetse bakiga guhimba indirimbo no kubyina. Muri ibi byose niho bagiraga n’umwanya wo gukuna.

Byakorwaga umukobwa akiri muto kuko iyo yabitangiraga atinze ntacyo byatangaga. Muri icyo gihe uwashyingirwaga umugabo we agasanga atarakunnye yaramusendaga bikaba igisebo kinini ku muryango we.

Byabaga kandi impamvu ababyeyi bangaga gushyingira umukobwa bagira bati “aracyari umwana” babaga bashaka kuvuga ko atararangiza uwo muhango, bemeraga kumushyingira iyo umuryango w’umuhungu umwifuza wabaga wabemereye ko utazasenda umukobwa wabo kubera izo mpamvu gusa.

Abakobwa baturanye babaga bari kumwe muri byose, akenshi bategura ibirori bya bagenzi babo babaga bafite ubukwe. Ababyeyi ntibashoboraga kubuza umukobwa kwitabira ibirori bya bagenzi be kuko byamuviraga mo ko yazisanga wenyine ku munsi w’ubukwe bwe, bikaba igisebo gikomeye kuri we no ku muryango we. Umukobwa yagiraga imico yabo baturanye kuko babaga bari kumwe igihe kinini.

Umwana w’umukobwa ntiyashyingirwaga ku ngufu nk’uko hari ababivuga, ni byo ko ubukwe bwakorwaga n’imiryango atari nk’iki gihe ariko iyo umukobwa atashimaga umuhungu yashoboraga kubyerekana mu buryo bunyuranye, yashoboraga kunyura hagati y’abaje gusaba bikaba ari icyemetso cy’uko yabanenze, yashoboraga kandi guhimba we n’abacuti be indirimbo isebya umuhungu, umuhungu akazatinya kwiriwa aza gusaba kuko indirimbo yabaga yamenyekanye.

Mu by’ukuri ariko iyo umuhungu yavaga mu muryango ukomeye, umukobwa yangaga guteranya imiryango akareka ubukwe bukaba, ariko akahukana akigera mu rugo mu mezi ya mbere akanga kurusubiramo ukundi. Icyo gihe imiryango ntiyanganaga kuko bavugaga ngo “ni abana bananiranywe si twe”. Si buri gihe umukobwa yangaga kurongorwa n’umuhungu runaka kuko hari icyo amuziza ahubwo habagaho n’ubwo umukobwa yamenyaga ko hari undi muhungu uturutse mu muryango ukize kurushaho, yakoreshaga ubwo buryo bwo kwahukana agasanga uwo yahisemo.

Hari ibibazo byari byihariye ku mwana w’umukobwa gusa. Nk’iyo yabaga yatwaye inda ikintu kera kitihanganirwaga kubera impamvu z’imyemerere y’uko umwana uvutse muri ubwo buryo yari guteza ibyago igihugu cyose birimo amapfa n’ibindi. Bizeraga ko bagomba kwica urwo ruhinja ndetse agashyingurwa mu mahanga.

Hari ubwo bacaga umukobwa utwite mu kirwa cyo mu Kivu, ngo azicwe n’inzara n’inyota bikitwa “kohera”, hari n’ibyobo byagenewe kujugunyamo abakobwa batwaye inda z’indaro.

Hari uburyo bumwe gusa bwo kumukiza urwo rupfu. iyo uwamuteye inda yazaga akamurongora, mbere y’uko inda igaragara naho yamurongora agahita amusenda, cyangwa se n’undi muhungu wese iyo yihutiraga guhita amurongora byakizaga uwo mukobwa watwaye inda.

Kumurongora ariko ntibyakuragaho ko uruhinja rugomba kuzicwa niruvuka ndetse rugashyingurwa mu mahanga, uko inda yakuraga bakoraga ibishoboka bakagenda bamwegereza umupaka, umukobwa akazabyarira hafi y’umupaka bikoroha kujya gushyingura uruhinja mu mahanga.

Uwateye inda umukobwa yashoboraga guhanwa mu buryo bumwe gusa, iyo yabaga yamufashe ku ngufu. Iyo umukobwa yabaga yatabaje, umuhungu akanga kumurongora, Icyo gihe umuryango w’umukobwa waramuhoreraga. Ariko iyo byabaga byabaye umukobwa abishaka ntacyo bamufashaga.

Ubufatanye bw’umugore n’umugabo

Mu Rwanda n’ubwo umugabo yitwaga umutware w’urugo, ntiyivangaga mu bijyanye n’umutungo w’urugo, ibyerekeye umutungo w’urugo wose byarebaga umugore. Umugore niwe wagenaga ibihunikwa bikazatunga umuryango,  akamenya gushyira ku ruhande ibizifashishwa mu ihinga ry’umwaka ukurikiye n’ibindi byose bijyanye n’umutungo. Iyo umugabo yivangaga mu by’umutungo w’urugo baravugaga ngo “aragera” bikaba kumunenga ko atareka umugore ngo abe ariwe wenyine ubigena.

Byari bizwi ko kugira urugo rukomeye bivuze kugira umugore uzi gukoresha umutungo w’urugo. Umugabo ukize byabaga bizwi ko abikesha umugore uzi gucunga neza umutungo.

Umugabo ntiyashoboraga kugira ibyo agurisha cyangwa inka atanga umugore atabyemeje, mu magambo byitwaga ko umutungo ari uw’umugabo ariko ntacyo yawukoreshaga umugore atabanje kubyemeza.

Iyo umugore yabaga ari umunyembaraga kandi azi ubwenge umugabo we yaramwumvaga cyane, ndetse kenshi abantu bakamwita “inganzwa”, bavugaga ngo “yagize amahirwe kuko we atuje nk’abagore akaba yarashatse umugore ufite umutima nk’uw’abagabo”.

Iyo ariko umugabo yabaga ari umunyembaraga, ari intwali ariko n’ubundi akumvira umugore we, baravugaga ngo “arakundwakaza”.

Mu ngo z’abahinzi, umugabo yafatanyaga n’umugore we, umugabo yarahingaga umugore agatera imbuto. Iyo byabaga ari uguhinga mu bishanga umugabo niwe wajyagayo umugore akaza gutera aho umugabo yahinze, muri make umugore niwe wakoraga akazi katavunanye cyane.

Umugore niwe watekaga, umugabo yamufashaga kuvoma, kuronga no gutora ibishyimbo n’amashaza. Umugore kandi niwe wamenyaga ibijyanye n’isuku y’urugo, ibyo byo ntacyo umugabo yamufashagamo.

Ibidakunze kuvugwa ni uko umugore yagiraga umutungo we bwite yashoboraga kujyana mu gihe habayeho gutandukana. Uwo mutungo wabaga waraturutse kenshi ku nka yahabwaga uko yabyaye n’iyo yazitagaho neza zikororoka. Iyo yatandukanaga n’umugabo we wa mbere yajyanaga inka ze akazijyana ku mugabo wa kabiri iyo yahitagamo kongera gushaka.

Ubu bufatanye bwaje guhinduka umugabo asigara ariwe ukora ibintu byose uko abyumva yaba umutungo yaba kwanga gufasha umugore imirimo, kwiriza abakobwa mu rugo; ntibizwi neza igihe n’uburyo izo mpinduka zabaye niba byaratewe n’ubukoloni, iyobokamana rishya abazungu bazanye ubukristu n’ubuyisilamu budakunze guha agaciro abakobwa n’abagore, Repubulika za mbere zitashyigikiye imyigire y’abakobwa ntizitume bagabana umutungo w’ababyeyi nk’abahungu, ikigaragara n’uko ibihe byahindutse umukobwa n’umugore bagatsikamirwa atari ko byahoze mu Rwanda. Ni ngombwa ko abakobwa n’abagore basubizwa uburenganzira bambuwe.

Hifashishijwe igitabo “Les organisations socio-familiales de l’ancien Rwanda” Alexis Kagame, 1954

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